Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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