I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
