i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
