Do vagina's smell?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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