Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
