He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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