So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
