Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
