His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
