And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need a burrito and a hug.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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