don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
