I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it's like iHOP with fire
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
