I heard we made out
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Randomize
