I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
