Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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