Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
