oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
