i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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