So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
