I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He has the fingertips of a God
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