haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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