Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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