I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
