There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
