How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
