Christians are straight up FREAKS
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
