You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
