Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
