I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I could fuck to npr.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
