:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
