so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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