good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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