So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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