I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i've created a new STD.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
