Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
