Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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