People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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