There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
