He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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