I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
