Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
