Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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