I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
