He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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