Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
