i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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