and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
