She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
