We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
