I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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