My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
