The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
