I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
