So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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