ugly people sure do ruin things
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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